Wise Dating

I'll be honest, I see a lot of women selling themselves short in online profiles. And it makes me sad, because I see how it keeps a lot of great women unnecessarily single.

Here's the thing: when your amazing potential partner is swiping, she is looking for you.

But you have to help her recognize you!

She's going to get overwhelmed by all the profiles just like you do. So if yours doesn't stand out, she might just pass you by.

Therefore, I beg of you, please don't say you like to laugh, go out to eat, watch movies and walk on the beach.

Saying those things is like saying "I have two eyes, a nose and a mouth." Most of us do! That won't catch your Ms. Right's attention!

Because online dating overwhelms people with choices, what you say in your profile is really important.

Maybe you're not sure what makes you most unique and desirable...

Or it makes you uncomfortable to think of trying to "sell yourself" or "toot your own horn."

Or maybe you haven't defined what you want in a relationship, or what you have to offer.

Or, you're self-conscious about what you perceive as your flaws.

Or you think you're supposed to "cast a wide net" and try to appeal to everyone. (Not true! Trying to appeal to everyone, keeping your profile generic and bland, will actually result in your appealing to NO ONE.)

You've gotta get over these things so you can create a profile that works!

What if you're leery of online dating? Well, creating a profile will help you hone in on who you are and what you're seeking, and that will help you a lot with offline dating, too. That's why we walk you through the process, not just finessing the words but truly getting ready, in Lesbian Dating Boot Camp.

Let me give you an example. Imagine if the descriptions that follow were in three different dating profiles. Which of these women would you most want to meet?

#1 - Retired teacher. I love to laugh, am good with kids, and family is important to me. I enjoy traveling, eating out, TV, movies with popcorn, friends, board games, beach walks. Seeking a long-term partner.

#2 - I enjoy movies, all kinds, rom-com to sci-fi. I taught school for 30+ years, so I’m good with kids, and enjoy being in my grandchildrens’ lives. I mostly eat healthy, but indulge now and then, especially with popcorn. I’m a word person, and enjoy board games as well as going new places, especially in the Southwest. I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time, but would like to find the love of my life for my final chapter. I have the usual aches and pains, but am fairly healthy and active, and hope you are, too.

#3 - Playful lifelong learner, Scrabble and Boggle whiz, road-tripper, fine picnicker and excellent friend. I used to identify as butch, but these days I'm just me. I do tend to be drawn to more feminine women, but that can look a lot of different ways. I know how to be a devoted partner -- I’m a great listener, supportive companion, cheerful cook and dishwasher, handy around the house, and always up for an adventure, including with kids (got grandkids? I'll love them as much as I love my own, with whom I love to play ball and build sandcastles.) I’m seeking a woman who, like me, wants to co-create a relationship full of great communication, emotional generosity, skillful conflict resolution, sensuality and affection, and shared attention to both your dreams and mine. I’m excited about my post-retirement life, and looking for someone who is enthusiastic about her next chapter. Do you want to greet the changes in our world, and in your own body, with compassion and curiosity? Do you want to be half of a team that hugs and laughs a lot, nurtures a community of friends both together and separately, accepts each other, and keeps growing? If so, reach out to me! I’m for real and hope to meet in person or at least by video chat very soon after we start messaging.

Did you guess already that all of the above are profile drafts by the same woman?

Like so many women, Jeannie really didn't know how to describe herself in appealing terms. She felt self-conscious about her aging body, nervous because she hadn't had a romantic relationship for a long time, and not sure how best to describe herself now that she was retired.

Description #1 was her first draft, #2 added a bit more detail, but in my opinion, #3 -- which I helped her write -- is the one that really sings, and will appeal to more women.

Here's what I find effective about draft #3: Jeannie plays to her strengths -- even though she hasn't been in a romantic relationship for years, she's a good friend, and she draws on her friendships to describe what she has to offer. Her description makes me feel invited in, and by the end, I feel like I know her a little bit -- and want to know her more! I also feel like I have a good idea of whether I could be right for her, which is really important.

She doesn't sound arrogant or like she's "selling herself," but she does make it clear what she wants to co-create, and even how she wants to date. And she'll get a lot more opportunity to date, and to meet the right woman, with that profile.

Having an appealing, clear, specific and quirky profile that helps women "get to know you" in just a few paragraphs, will make a huge difference in being able to meet the right woman online. And no matter who you are, and regardless of your looks, you deserve -- and can have -- a magnetic profile that draws in just the right kind of woman (and also helps screen out the rest.)

But even if you can see what makes Jeannie's version #3 better, that doesn't mean it will necessarily be easy for you to create your own version. And even if you do, you may feel uncertain about how to handle some of the other steps involved in online dating: things like which app(s) to use, how to search profiles, Do's and Don'ts of messaging women, when to shift to phone or video chat, what to say when you meet, and how to recognize -- way beyond chemistry -- who actually might be a good fit for you (as well as how to spot the red flags that mean you should rule someone out!)

That's why Lesbian Dating Boot Camp will walk you through the steps that will help you actually succeed at finding love online, and also give you a support team to do it alongside you, keep you accountable and help you every step of the way.

And yes, we'll help you write a great profile, too!

We start September 21. Hope you'll join us!

Love,

Ruth

P.S. Online dating is the most common way for LGBTQ women++ to meet partners, especially now, but there's also a lot that can be lonely, overwhelming, or just plain hard about it, and some sites aren't worth your time at all. Don't waste your time and risk your heart. Wouldn't it be easier if you had a mentor and buddies helping you every step of the way, and guiding you to do it right? But time is running out -- we start in just over a week. This intensive class will transform your experience of dating, whether online or offline. We guarantee it.