Conscious Girlfriend Academy (CGA) Overview 

1. CGA is a privately-owned membership community and learning environment for self-identified women and adjacent non-binary people who have romantic and/or sexual interest in women. Elsewhere in this document, the words "lesbian" and/or "women" will be used, but only as shorthand to describe any/all women and adjacent non-binary people who love women or want to, regardless of label (women who identify as gay, queer, bisexual, pansexual, sexually fluid, trans gender, etc.). "Adjacent non-binary people" generally means non-binary people who were identified as female at birth, and/or raised as girls. 

2. CGA members certify that they identify themselves as women or adjacent non-binary people and that they are over the age of 21.

3. CGA is a supportive learning community, not a psychotherapeutic container. Members certify that they understand CGA classes are not psychotherapy, and that if they need psychotherapy, they will seek it elsewhere. Interactions within CGA are subject to different expectations and requirements than interaction within individual or group psychotherapy. For instance, classes and groups are led by faculty members who teach from their own personal experience, as well as from the work of psychologists, relationship researchers, spiritual teachers and other experts. Additionally, there is no barrier to friendship or romantic involvement between CGA faculty, staff, volunteers or members. 

4. CGA classes on sexuality are frank and explicit, as well as conscious and compassionate. We offer lesbians high-quality sex education rarely available elsewhere for our community. This information can be life-changing and life-saving! However, it can also be emotionally triggering, especially for our many members who have a history of sexual assault or abuse. Members who choose to attend our sexuality classes acknowledge that their attendance is voluntary and they are encouraged to leave and/or seek professional help if needed. 

5. All CGA classes, including those on dating, relationships and sexuality, carry "trigger warnings" because they deal with emotionally sensitive material. While learning the information in our classes can make a huge positive difference in the lives of our members, it is important for members to take care of themselves. Members who choose to attend these classes acknowledge that their attendance is voluntary and they are encouraged to leave or seek professional help if needed.

6. CGA is a consensual and empowering environment designed, led and attended by lesbians and other women who love women, as well as non-binary people. CGA exists to empower lesbians++ to understand and create the romantic and sexual lives we want, as well as to say No and set boundaries when needed. As such, we stand firmly against sexual harassment and abuse, including non-consensual flirting or otherwise romantic or sexualized interaction. We also stand firmly in favor of consensual flirting, romantic or sexual relationships between women involved in CGA at any level, where such relationships are mutually desired and agreed to by both or all parties, including faculty, staff, volunteers and participants.  Members who choose to attend CGA classes, groups and gatherings acknowledge that they may be in the presence of women who are romantically and/or sexually involved with one another, and/or who talk openly about sex. 

7. All of us, including CGA faculty, are works in progress! No one in CGA pretends to be perfect or a guru. Yet, we come together to do our best to learn about, practice and uphold the skills of being conscious, compassionate and curious in our relationships, including our romantic relationships, our relationships with ourselves, and our relationships with others in CGA.

All CGA participants must agree to the CGA waiver. 

Please click here to read the waiver.  

CGA Ethos

The four key principles of the CGA ethos are: 

1. Cultivating a conscious state. This means working to notice your feelings and your thoughts (the story you tell about your feelings), and to acknowledge the inevitable gap between your emotions, your beliefs, and reality. Being conscious also means developing the ability to recognize your own triggers and take care of yourself when they arise, i.e. do whatever is necessary in order for you to regulate your nervous system. Although CGA teaches many tools for this self-regulation, at times professional help is also needed (e.g. from a licensed psychotherapist or M.D.), and members are encouraged to seek such help if needed.  
    
2. Cultivating a state of compassion for yourself and others. Although many women struggle with self-compassion, this is absolutely a learnable skill! It is also a necessary foundation to develop for all other Conscious Girlfriend work. Yes, you can learn to have compassion for yourself, and yes, it will improve all your relationships, including your 24/7 relationship with yourself. Compassion is also a necessary component in all interactions between CGA members.

3. Cultivating curiosity. As Brene Brown says, If you’re not uncomfortable sometimes, you’re probably not learning. Learning, by definition, requires us to extend ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Curiosity is what makes it possible for us to do that. When we can stay or return to a state of curiosity, we can grow and learn.
    
4. Confidentiality. CGA members, faculty and staff explicitly agree to hold confidential anything which is shared at a CGA event (even at later CGA events or with other CGA members.) This means never sharing the name or identifying details of anyone, in connection with any story they may have shared, except in cases where someone believes another's speech violates a CGA policy, in which case members are encouraged to tell CGA administration about the incident. Confidentiality also means being judicious about sharing any details anyone shared, regardless of whether you reveal their identity or not. Before sharing someone else’s story, check your intention. Are you sharing to help create more learning and empathy? Or are you sharing to foster gossip? CGA values the former, and asks members to refrain from the latter. Please be aware that despite our commitment to confidentiality, people are human and breaches do happen; therefore, CGA encourages members to consciously calibrate what they choose to share, where, and with whom. Also, please be aware that recorded classes will be viewed by other women who were not present at the original class meeting.

The Voluntary Nature of CGA Membership 

CGA loves our members! However, our lawyers want us to say this stuff:

CGA membership is wholly voluntary and subject to the choice of both the member, and the CGA administration. No one is ever obligated to become, or to remain, a member of CGA, and CGA is not required to accept or continue any person's membership.

Women who choose to become and remain members of CGA agree to do their best to honor CGA's operating principles, policies and ethos. CGA reserves the right to refuse membership to any individual, or to revoke the membership of any individual, at its sole discretion. Members agree that if their membership is ended, their only compensation will be the refund of tuition pre-paid past the date of revocation.

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If a member finds that her needs are not being met by CGA, she is welcome to offer input and feedback via email to [email protected]. While CGA administration welcomes hearing about members' feelings and needs, final decisions about all issues and concerns will be made by CGA administration, in concert with legal and mental health professionals.

Recorded and Non-Recorded Classes and Groups

As a general rule, all didactic CGA classes are recorded, while Practice and Connection events are not recorded. Faculty always announce that a class is going to be recorded, before starting the recording. Zoom attendees can also check in the upper left hand corner of their screens to see whether a class is being recorded or not. Breakout groups are never recorded.

Classes recorded in the Academy are made available to present and future Academy members and are also, in some cases, sold as a la carte classes. Members who do not wish to be seen in the video must turn their cameras off.  Names and profile pictures will not appear in the recording , so if a member's camera is off, nothing about her will show. If a member's camera is on, and her face appears on the screen, it will appear in the recording; however, names that appear onscreen during the live class will not appear in the recording.

If a member chooses to speak aloud in a live class, her voice will be included in the recording. Members who do not wish their voices to be included in the recording must use the chat box to communicate, rather than unmuting themselves to speak.

CGA members who appear on camera in a recorded CGA class, and who choose to speak aloud in the class, acknowledge that both their speech and image will be viewed later by other Academy members.

Members also acknowledge that CGA's parent entity, Conscious Girlfriend, holds additional classes which are not part of the CGA. These recorded classes may be available either free or at a per-class cost to CGA members, but will also be attended by many women who are not CGA members. These classes are also recorded and widely distributed either free or for a tuition payment to lesbians interested in the work of Conscious Girlfriend. CGA members who choose to participate in these recordings do so with full acknowledgement that their image and speech, if present in the class, will be thus distributed. CGA members who do not wish to be part of recordings may either choose to forego attending recorded classes, or may keep their cameras off and participate in the chat only, rather than by unmuting themselves.  

CGA also holds many groups which are focused on practicing skills and/or connecting with others in the community. These groups are NOT recorded, and in these groups, members are required to attend with cameras on for the personal interaction component, in order to enhance rapport and establish mutual vulnerability and safety for all participants.