There's a warm welcome waiting for you, and a new, easier, happier love life, too.
You've Got Questions, We've Got Classes.
When you become an Academy Member, you'll get free access to our archives.
The Intelligent, Compassionate Learning Community For Lesbians++
Welcoming all self-identified women and adjacent non-binary people who love women or want to.
We offer skill-building classes
and growth-oriented lesbian community.
Welcome! I'm so glad you found us.
I'm Dr. Ruth Schwartz, director of the Conscious Girlfriend Academy. The Academy exists to help all lesbians++ create the dating, love and sex lives we want and deserve. Whether you're just coming out or have been out for a long time, our programs help you date in smart-for-your-heart ways... learn to create truly happy, lasting relationships... get support with coming out... if you're over age 64, connect with other conscious lesbian elders... and more!
Conscious Girlfriend has been featured in:
How many of these common lesbian dating & love
challenges have you faced?
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Love is confusing.
Your last relationship seemed perfect at first, but then the trouble began. Fights, pulling away, endless processing -- how could something feel so right and then go so wrong? You wish there were a way to really understand what happened, and to make sure it will never happen again, without having to spend the rest of your life alone.
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Lesbian dating is hard.
You'd love to meet someone special, but you're not sure how to find interested women, or how to "date." How do you know whether it's a "friend date" or a "date date?" What if you're attracted to a friend? What if someone is attracted to you, but you don't feel it? What if you do feel it -- can you trust your "picker"? You wish you felt more confident.
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You're new to dating women.
It's incredibly vulnerable to embrace a new life and new sexual or romantic orientation. You wonder, how does lesbian dating actually work? Will women accept you? What about getting physical? You wish there were an orientation manual to your new life.
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Breakups are shattering.
Even when the relationship was hard, the loss can be overwhelming. Especially if the breakup was sudden, the pain can be so intense that it's hard to eat, sleep, or think about anything but her. You need help surviving this loss, making sense of it, and getting your life back.
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Dating apps, ughhh.
You'd much prefer to meet someone the old-fashioned way, but if you do decide to use an app, you're not sure how. Which one? What to say in your profile? How to know who's real? You wish you had someone to help you do this thing right.
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You're over 50, and your needs have changed.
Dating and love feel different now. You want a loving relationship for the long haul, but you wonder if it's too late for you. Is there really a way to love again? How can you find her? You wish there were a roadmap you could follow to find the love you want.
We'll help you gain clarity and confidence,
get connected to like-minded women,
heal your heart,
prepare for healthy lesbian love,
and then find her, when you're ready.
Introducing: How To Crack The Code
Working with thousands of women has shown us
the three things you need
in order to find the love you want, and keep it strong:
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Mentorship.
You don't know what you don't know! You need expert help to identify where you've been going wrong, and understand what changes to make to create the new outcomes you want.
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Support.
Peers matter. Humans are social animals, and it's an uphill battle to make deep change unless others around you can accept and appreciate you exactly as you are, and validate you as you grow. We often hear women say in the Academy, "It helps so much to know I'm not alone."
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Practice.
Practice is essential. Whatever you already do well in your life, it probably took trial and error to get good at it! Healthy dating and love skills are the same way. You can't learn them just from reading, taking classes or going to therapy. You need to actually practice in a supportive atmosphere.
That's why we developed the Academy.
Monthly members get both live and recorded support.
Our weekly Roadmap Connection groups give you mentorship, support and practice, plus a chance to build community! Supporting Members also get additional live classes, monthly group coaching and an extensive archives of recorded classes, too.
Conscious Lesbian Elders Weekly Meetings
Over 64? Meet like-minded women in our weekly Conscious Lesbian Elders Support & Connection group. We talk about aging, health, losses, sources of meaning and joy, dating and love at any age, and more.
On-demand help for any schedule.
Want to rewrite your relationship scripts, get better at bedroom communication, heal from a breakup or learn how to date over 50? Those are just a few topics in the 80+ recorded classes available to Supporting Academy members.
Just coming out? We're the community for you.
Our community warmly welcomes women who are just coming out, bisexual women, queer women and adjacent non-binary people. No need to stay segregated with other newbies -- we welcome you into the fold! Participating in the Academy is the perfect way to "learn how to be a lesbian," gain the skills and confidence you need, and make friends.
FAQs
What kinds of women join the Academy?
- Members come from throughout the United States, as well as Canada, Europe, Mexico, Israel and elsewhere.
- Members range in age from their 20s through their 80s, but most are over 40.
- Some members are dating, or want to date; others aren't ready for a new relationship, but want more community and more skills.
- Many of our members have done a lot of personal growth work already; all are highly motivated to learn conscious lesbian dating and love skills.
- Some members are newly coming out; others have been out for decades, and everything in between.
- We are a warmly welcoming, intelligent and compassionate community for all self-identified women (and adjacent non-binary people) who love women, or want to!
How will a monthly or yearly Academy membership help me change my love life?
If you're like many of our members, you have a deep longing for a healthy, loving, trust-filled, supportive and passionate relationship, yet you're not sure how to find the right partner. In Academy classes you'll learn how to create a vision for your ideal relationship -- and build the skills to co-create your half of it. You'll learn how to date with clarity and confidence, how to recognize real compatibility (and not get fooled by chemistry or limerence, the "honeymoon stage"), how to communicate in ways that build emotional intimacy, and (if you choose) how to have fulfilling sex, too. Joining the Academy is like getting a gym membership for your romantic life! It gives you the community support and consistent education and practice you need, to become able to have the love life you want.
Can I just buy the classes I want, instead of joining the Academy?
Honestly, we used to sell a la carte classes, but we found it didn't give the same results. The Academy exists to help you gain and integrate the knowledge and skills to change your love life forever. That's an incredibly important and achievable goal, but it usually takes more than just watching a few classes to make it happen. It takes ongoing mentorship, support and practice -- and that's what you'll get by becoming a member.
We recommend joining the Academy for a year because 1) You get a big discount doing it that way. 2) Paying up front will motivate you to come to as many classes as you actually need, without having to second-guess yourself about each one. 3) Getting to know other members will be a big help in creating the love life you actually want. It's hard to do alone, and much easier when you're connected to like-minded women on similar journeys.
I've already done years of therapy and/or other personal growth work. How will the Academy be different?
Just like you, many of our members have done a lot of self-work -- yet it's rare for that work to specifically address the unique gifts and challenges of lesbian relationships. Therapy, 12-step, meditation, Landmark, and other kinds of growth and healing work are all incredibly valuable, yet lesbian dating and lesbian love requires certain highly specific understandings and skills which many people haven't found elsewhere -- and find in the Academy. Plus, along with mentorship and support, we offer opportunities to practice what you learn.
Do you offer private coaching?
Yes! We've got Conscious Girlfriend Certified Coaches! Check them out here. CGA coaches have received the world's best training to help them help you with lesbian coming out, lesbian dating, lesbian relationships, lesbian attachment, lesbian sex and lesbian breakups -- and their support is very powerful. However, unless your money and time are unlimited, we strongly encourage you to join the Academy too. Our classes cover life-changing information in a more budget-friendly way, and give you the benefit of seeing and hearing like-minded women describe their journeys, ask questions, and receive group coaching. Building friendships and community is a big part of the Academy. Academy Director Ruth Schwartz also offers a very limited number of VIP Transformation Memberships that include private coaching with her. Learn more here.
Academy Participants Say:
You create such a safe container in which to explore sexual identity and connection... and honor all the different ways that humans show up or choose not to show up. That is FREAKIN' AWESOME MODELING! -- R+P, Lesbian Erotic Liberation Class
R+P
Lesbian Erotic Liberation Class
It was an enormous pleasure to participate in this course. I learned so much about myself, about romantic relationships between women, leaving behind old beliefs that don't serve me... I never imagined this would be so deep and so healing!
Alexandra
Roadmap to Conscious Lesbian Dating & Lasting Love Class
The program was amazing! It really helped me to own my sexual identity and feel less self-conscious and embarrassed about coming out in my fifties. It was refreshing and comforting to meet others in the same boat. The ladies in the academy are wonderful… many possibilities to make friends. Thank you so much for supporting me on this journey. I will definitely recommend it to others.
I can honestly say I couldn't be happier because I have never been this happy before. My new GF and I have our challenges here and there, but those become opportunities to take pause with each other in order to learn and grow and arrive at a deeper level of connection. No fights, tension, stress... You know, the CG promise! I will always be a grateful and devout follower of what I gained through you, CG and its community. I am living proof that when I got myself good and ready, there she was.
I cannot express how valuable the Roadmap class was to me and for all I have continued to learn through The Academy and all the wonderful and beautiful women I have met there. My 2 very good friends have noticed and made wonderful comments to me regarding how much they can tell that I have grown over the past several months. I am so happy that I have the skills to be able to put to use when needed!
Lesbian Dating Classes
Free to Deep Dive Academy Members
Dating: Red, Green
and Yellow Flags
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Learn why sometimes a red flag can turn yellow or even green -- but sometimes a green flag can change color, too.
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Gain the clarity to listen to your intuition, assess someone new, and also stay curious and open.
90-Minute Video Class
Lesbian Dating
Deep Dive
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How to know if you're actually ready to date, and what to do if you're not -- or if she's not.
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Learn how to build a solid foundation whether you're local or long-distance, and what "friends first" and compatibility really mean.
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And, just for fun, learn how to flirt, too...without committing!
90-Minute Video Class
Wise Lesbian Dating Fundamentals
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You've been around the block and you're ready to learn to do this thing differently -- but where do you begin? What does it even mean to "date," vs. just dive in?
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Learn what to do when you feel a spark, and also when you don't, so you can actually find long-term love.
90-Minute Video Class
Releasing Blocks
to Love
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Why sometimes that 67-point checklist actually keeps you from love -- and how to focus on what really matters in seeking a partner.
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Learn how to become someone who actually finds love, rather than keeps on looking.
90-Minute Video Class
Conscious Connection & Dating
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Learn how to make every date a good date while also dating with a clear vision -- and learn when and how to discuss that vision without scaring someone off.
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Strengthen your ability to be yourself on dates, while also gaining key information about compatibility.
90-Minute Video Class
Anatomy of A Lesbian Heartbreak
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The truth about why so many relationships start out amazing, yet fall apart in less than a year -- and how to prevent this heartbreak.
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Learn how to stop getting derailed by a sense of scarcity, or attractions to women who aren't good for you.
90-Minute Video Class
True Compatibility
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Compatibility is key to a long-term relationship, but it's not intuitive. Learn the most important factor (which probably isn't even on your radar!)
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Do you ever want different, contradictory things? Learn how to become more compatible with yourself, so you can find a love that works for the complex being you are.
90-Minute Video Class
Preparing For A Healthy Relationship
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Are you stuck in old stories or unrealistic fantasies about love? Learn how to create a nuanced and updated vision for the relationship you want.
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Build the skills and develop the mindset for a happy, lasting intimate relationship -- before you find her!
90-Minute Video Class
Rewrite Your
Relationship Scripts
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Do you have painful patterns you replay again and again, like trying to "rescue" women who need help, falling for unavailable women, or over-giving and then feeling resentful?
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Learn what it really takes to transform these dysfunctional "scripts," and create the new reality you truly want.
90-Minute Video Class
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