What You'll Learn In

Get Your Needs Met While Loving Well

How to feel truly worthy of getting what you need,

and how to let it in

Whether it's from childhood trauma, shame, or just being human, you probably have trouble taking in what you most want -- no matter how much you want it! Learn powerful practices to help you release blocks to getting what you need, and re-wire your brain toward receiving.    

Understand the difference between wants, needs and triggers (and work skillfully with each of them)

When you want something important and don't get it, or don't even feel safe asking for it, it hurts.

And then you've got to do something with that hurt. But what?!

If you try to stuff it away, get mad, pull away, punish, or make demands, things get worse, not better. 

Learn how to sort through what's actually happening now, care for yourself gently, and communicate in ways that actually build connection and make you more likely to get what you want.

How colliding attachment wounds

create most of the pain -- and how to work with them

In most relationships, one person ends up feeling hungry for more closeness, while the other person keeps needing more space. Over time, this dynamic creates excruciating pain. 

One person needs more texting, more time together, more affection or sex, and to feel like a higher priority in order to feel secure. Meanwhile, the other person feels pressured, criticized and overwhelmed, and pulls away, thinking, "No matter how much I give, it's just not enough." 

These patterns have nothing to do with lack of love, though they often end up destroying our precious relationships. Learn how to hold your needs and hers without making either person wrong, and how to build the kind of closeness that lets both of you get your needs met.    

Re-script the story of your love life

to create what you actually want

The worst thing about our biggest sources of pain in relationships is that they tend to happen over... and over... and over. Yet, you look around and see other people having a different experience. What's their secret? Why do other people get to have what they want, but you don't? 

The answer lies in your neural pathways.

And it can be changed there, too.    

Sex, affection, closeness -- you've got needs there, too! 

Many classes teach you how to ask for what you need, and set boundaries, outside the bedroom. But the truth is, sex and sensuality are key areas for working with your wants, needs and triggers.

The other great thing is: when you can communicate skillfully about your sexual needs, it carries over to the rest of the relationship, too.

In Conscious Girlfriend Academy, we empower you to communicate as skillfully inside the bedroom as outside of it. What an amazing feeling!  

What does it mean to "love well?"  

Many people struggle with the idea that loving means giving yourself up... constantly twisting yourself into a knot to meet someone else's needs, and ignoring your own... over-giving to the point of exhaustion, stuffing your feelings, and then getting furious.

This is not sustainable. Nor is it actually love. 

The truth is, loving well requires a complex skill-set. Tip over in one direction, and you get co-dependent and merged. Tip over in the other direction, and your heart closes up.

We'll explore the healthy middle, where you can be responsive to both yourself, and to the person you love. Ypu'll learn how to make requets and set boundaries in ways that foster lasting closeness, and help you get your needs met. 

It's not just about romantic relationships...   

Friendships and community can meet so many needs, too. But most of us don't utilize them enough. 

It can be even more scary to bring deep needs to a non-romantic relationship. Many of us don't talk that deeply with our friends.

That can change, if you want it to. 

And, could some of your needs for affection or even sex also be met outside of romantic partnership? We'll talk about that possibility.  

New to lesbian life?

We'll give you a warm welcome,

along with the help you need.  

Many later-in-life lesbians say, "My relationships with men didn't make me happy, but they sure were easier!"

Lesbian or wlw relationships tend to have more closeness, and more triggers. When they're good, they're very, very good -- but they do take more skill. 

You need and deserve to practice these skills with a warm and welcoming lesbian community!  Our classes include women who've been out for decades as well as those who are just coming out, creating a very rich learning environment. 

Not Ready To Date?

That's great. 

Some women in Academy classes are dating or in relationships. Others are healing, getting to know themselves better, or using Academy skills in their non-romantic relationships. (They help there, too!)

After The Get Your Needs Met Class

Imagine how good it will feel:

Knowing you truly deserve to have your needs met.

Getting your needs met much more quickly and easily in your relationships.

Feeling confident that you can bring up your needs, requests and boundaries in ways that actually bring someone closer to you, rather than pushing them away. 

Being able to hear someone else's wants and needs without automatically feeling like you have to try to meet them, or getting mad, getting scared, or closing down.

Feeling able to say No when you need to, and Yes when you truly want to, because you know how to check in with yourself and honor what's right for you. 

Holding others in your life with tenderness, empathy and generosity, without giving yourself up in the process.

You can get there!